elegy

to breathe sickly heavy air
that resides
on the underside
of the compost bin lid
is a luxury

to breathe it in
until my nose wrinkles
and my eyes break down
the composition of the inside

the weathered grey green of sage
with the bald caps of cracked freckled eggs
uniform rings on a maggot’s belly
and the roots of weeds, a road map
revolting and captivating
and meticulously produced by nature’s factory
decomposing and recomposing
calmly and perpetually and perplexingly
right before my restless eyes
revolting and fascinating and flourishing
from the ground up
the warmth of exhalation
the warmth
of breath from death
lifting the lively hairs on my skin

you belong there
dying lively in the compost
all sultry breath
and your whispering respiration
warm and wet and alive in my ears

i’ll keep eating
cabbages
potatoes
eggs
calm and connected
because when i stop
i’ll start
to respire that sickly heavy
gorgeous air with you
decompose with you

as Nature whispers wet the secret to feeling comfort in decay

Lara Monahan