I feel this is a bit ironic that I am writing a blog about self-confidence, especially as I have very little self-confidence myself. In my head I genuinely believe that nothing is off limits when you put your mind to it. I believe that you can achieve anything you truly want to achieve. I honestly believe that nothing is beyond reach.
However, it is quite easy to forget this when you go about your day to day life.
It’s so easy to let fear and self-doubt completely consume your thoughts and therefore limit your actions and achievements.
The Truth about Self-Confidence
If you ask adults how to have more self-confidence they’ll probably say something about smiling more, or talking more in lessons or just going over to someone and talking to them.
But having self-confidence is not like flicking a switch. It won’t just happen, and it won’t just come to you
Having more self-confidence is about changing thoughts and beliefs that have been drilled into our heads for years.
Confidence is going to come from belief in self and what we can truly achieve. For different people this WILL mean DIFFERENT things.
If your going to go into a test thinking that “oh I haven’t revised so I’m just going to absolutely fail this test” then the answer is yes you probably are going to fail that test for two reasons:
Number one, you went into that test believing that you were going to fail instead of trying to have a bit of faith in your own ability,
Number two, I bet you have been told by everyone that you have to revise really hard for everything or you will fail. Either way you will have no confidence going into and out of tests with these thoughts in your head.
It isn’t easy, but you would be much better to go into the test saying that “okay I haven’t revised but I am going to try my best and learn from my mistakes.”
By acknowledging that you will get some of it wrong, you will relax, by relaxing your thought processes will become clearer and you will recall knowledge for the answer.
It will help a lot.
I know, I know – it really feels like our results create our confidence. We always think things like ‘I’ll have more self-confidence when I have a better body’, ‘I’ll have more self-confidence when I ace that exam’, ‘I’ll have more self-confidence when I have a boyfriend’, ‘I’ll have more self-confidence when I get a job offer’.
Sometimes we do feel more confident after those things happen, but that’s not because those events made us more confident. It’s because we gave ourselves permission to feel confident after those events happened.
It really is our thoughts that create our confidence because, quite often, achieving those things doesn’t lead to the self-confidence we hoped for. We’ve achieved what we wanted, but we’re still full of self doubt.
Those achievements just bring up new fears and doubts as then we set our sights further into the future, pinning our self-confidence on some new result – an even better body, an even better exam result, a more loving boyfriend, an even better job.